Welcome back to my blog. ♥️ We are talking about my favorite thing of late, sexual purity. It’s something I’ve become so passionate about because there’s so much to learn and I believe that had I learnt the truth and advice I’ve learnt in the past year in this subject I wouldn’t have fallen into all I fell into.
Now before we even get into this post I want to make clear the fact that sexual purity can be maintained even if you were once sexually active. Secondary virginity is a thing and it’s definitely possible with the help of the Holy Spirit- I can attest to that. Also, even if you are a virgin you need to practice sexual purity because it’s not just about not having sex!
So with that, let’s get into the post! Here are 8 ways to help you maintain sexual purity;
Definitely have to be set with the help of the Holy Spirit. Heaven knows how many times I decided by myself that I wouldn’t do certain things anymore & I just kept falling back into the same exact puddles, why? because I tried everything by own strength and in an attempt to please God. It doesn’t work that way, you need the Holy Spirit to help you. When you spend time with God, it becomes easier Bc you are acting out of an intimate relationship. You love the Holy Spirit because you know him and don’t want to hurt him – EPHESIANS 4:30 (MSG)
Don’t misunderstand me, boundaries are prerequisite for maintenance of sexual purity just let Holy Spirit help you in setting and MAINTAINING them. I did say in my previous post about sexual purity that it’s one thing to set the boundaries and another to maintain them.
2. AVOID IDLENESS
We are young and there’s so much for us to do with our time. Since this semester begun I genuinely haven’t had time to waste. School keeps me busy- preparing for my classes, planning content, church activities let’s not forget maintaining a social life. An idle mind is the devils workshop find something to do with your time always. Don’t allow yourself to sit and be idle. I’m not saying it’s not okay to spend time by yourself, there’s a difference between spending time by yourself and being idle. I believe we all know that!
3. DON’T PLAY WITH FIRE
Solomon talks about this- don’t awaken love unless it’s time and you are ready. Kissing, fondling, foreplay etc that’s part of maintaining sexual purity. Don’t say because I’m a virgin or haven’t had sex then purity isn’t for me! If you are doing something you know the Holy Spirit doesn’t approve of then there’s a problem.
One thing legit always leads to another. I remember in high school I always said I’m going to wait for marriage and I’m not going to actually have sex etc but from kissing to foreplay one thing literally led to another- and the rest is history. My point is just don’t do anything that you know would lead you into temptation or falling into immorality .
4. BOND WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT
Spending time with the Holy Spirit is something that has helped me so much with my purity walk. When you try to be pure outside a relationship with the Holy Spirit it’s insanely difficult and almost impossible. I can’t count how many times I put checks on my wall or told people that I was accountable that I wouldn’t fall back to immorality but I did. I did because there was no relationship with God. I was trying to please him and prove a point to myself. Now whenever I get sexual urges or cravings i don’t give into them because I love the Holy Spirit and I don’t want to hurt him.
5. GENUINE ACCOUNTABILITY
Find someone who you can be genuinely honest & transparent with. Someone you know won’t make you feel judged but still be honest and firm with you. Don’t be accountable to someone who will tolerate your mistakes.
Being accountable will help you ; monitor your progress & want to be better. Never however fall into the idea of wanting to be perfect- I remember when I was still trying to overcome acceding to sexual urges ; I fell back so many times I started feeling like there was no hope and there was no reason in even telling my mentor. That’s deception from the devil. Whatever you do in secrete magnifies. So no matter how many times you fall stay accountable. You will eventually win! ♥️
6. DONT SUPRESS THE FEELINGS
sexuality is something that is always there, even if sex isn’t a part of your life. Because we tend to only talk about the physical act of sex, we ignore the fact that it’s our sexuality that ultimately drives us into relationship, makes us desire marriage, expresses our longing to be known. Talk about the feelings and deal with them! Suppressing them won’t get you anywhere! Acknowledge that it’s normal for them to be there but if it’s not time then work on the discipline to not give into acting on them
7. KNOW YOUR BATTLE
What do you battle with ? Memories from the past? Urges to act out sexually? Pornography? Homosexual thoughts? I had the hardest time letting go of homosexual thoughts because I had engineered my mind to think I was bisexual. It was difficult but not impossible. I had to be cautious of the things I watched and my pattern of thoughts. Knowing your place of weakness will help you deal with your temptations better. For example pornography was never an issue for me so saying I won’t go on particular sites or be idly on my phone at ‘weird hours’ wouldn’t be taking any caution. My issue was the urge to act out sexually so i avoid being alone with someone I’m attracted to etc My point is knowing your place of struggle will help you deal with your sexuality better.
8. CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS
What happens when you have sexual thoughts and desires? Where does your mind go?
1 CORINTHIANS 10:13
is perhaps the most practical teaching on temptation: “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”